We are here to enjoy the gift of being here

The last couple of years I have been on a spiritual journey, since my Step mothers death, really, thinking about life and its finality. My path began at a Catholic church, I had left the bustle of the Christmas shoppers to have a moment of peace and quiet. In doing so I found rest for my soul, I felt Gods presence again, a connection to the divine, comfort.

After Christmas I started going along, immersing myself in prayer, meditation, light candles, reciting the rosary, focusing on the latin chant at Mass. There were political and sociological issues that I felt I had to not think about, even without having to face up to Christianity's history, and other things..(I dislike the old Testament for one) that's not even inclusing the open hostility I encountered from my choice from family members!

5 months later I left too find a more universal option

Quaker Church, Unitarian, Kadampa Buddhism, Elim Pentacostal, Orthodox Christianity, SGI Buddhism, Druidism, Zen..... I have been a spiritual monogamist, each time, but equally unable to commit.

Whether speaking to the Catholic fathers or the Local Buddhist Monk I get some sense of the truth that is universal, the same things in different words. How can I commit when the choices are the same, equally true, yet imperfect, culturally laden, stuck.

Some times when my thinking is too cluttered when I get stuck, I need to remember why we are here.

Béas Poem

My Step Mother was buried one year ago today, she died of a Brain Tumor.

Over Christmas Beatrice had spoken the poem to me over the phone so I could adjust it as my father had written it out and emailed it to me but I needed to hear her emphasis and delivery. I was going to to something with the poem, but wasn't sure what, maybe a video, but In the end It was a dramatic event at the end of January when Beatrice had been rushed into hospital and my dad (and I) too thought she was going to die, that gave the the reason to do it. I took a short dark blurry video my dad had taken and slowed down and reversed the footage so that as her poem was read it was like her spirit was retracing her steps to the sea, the music I chose by einaudi, Le onde, it was the piece that for me emotionally fitted the moment. I didn't find a way to resolve the video at the end, it ends ubruptly, before its time, like Béa.

First visit to America

In a few weeks I will write a little about my first trip to the states, until then,
Namaste!